Day 7: Confusion caused by obfuscation and procrastination

Yesterday, I heard a speaker that seemingly wanted to obfuscate what he was saying by telling people what they wanted to hear.

The people he was talking to understood that he was not speaking truth but twisting facts to fit an agenda, his agenda. From what I heard, I think he was pandering to a group that he considered beneath him in intelligence.

I believe they took him to the proverbial woodshed, with their penetrating questions. He was reduced to saying he was not an expert in this, not a lawyer, not this or that. Which sort of begged the question. Then why are you here?

He was honest at least twice. The chairwoman of the predominantly male group asked him if he was expecting their support. After he stumbled through a few words, he admitted that he did not expect their support. The same chairwoman asked him if he supported what the group was trying to achieve. His answer was short and to the point: "No."

As a reporter, I strive to separate fact from opinion, but sometimes it's really difficult. So, I just take notes and write down what was said. I let the readers parse what's factual or not. They look at it through their own personal lenses of experience.

Yes, I have opinions. All of us do. I try to keep an open mind, but when I hear intentional obfuscation of the facts, it's hard to even take what someone says with a grain or a pound of salt.

Which leads me to why I'm part of this ongoing conversation into our individual themes – mine being how did I get here and where am I going?

Is reporting where I've landed for the rest of my life or until I can no longer do it?

Or is something else waiting for me out there?

I'm pretty sure I know how I got here. My confusion and indecision lie in where I am going.

Most of the time, I love my self-inflicted job, but sometimes it's more stressful than enjoyable.

My mind, I don't think, intentionally obfuscates what I should be doing. But confusion arises when I think about everything I want to do, but either don't find the time to do it, or really don't have the time to do it.

Writing these items each day, and this one I should have written yesterday, helps me procrastinate about what I SHOULD be doing for my business.

I enjoy writing; I enjoy reporting; I enjoy proofreading; I enjoy photography—journalistic and creative; I enjoy compiling previous interviews into books that I believe are beneficial as recordings of history.

My interests have always been all over the map. Even as a child, I would play with my friends, sometimes with our dolls; other times up on our roof where we had an accessible flat place where we could pretend to be explorers searching on the horizon for wild animals. Our imaginations ran rampant. The only wild animals we saw were rabbits, but they could have been lions or bears or coyotes. And those ships on the horizon (of dry land) could be full of pirates.

Why does that childlike imagination sometimes wane with so-called adulthood?

I believe it's because responsibilities of being an adult overwhelm the fanciful imaginations of a child.

But my end of adulthood, the older years, allows the imagination to blossom again and bring creative pursuits.

Except, I've willfully and purposefully burdened myself with a job.

I'm in the confusion of whether I want to serve truth and facts or create photographic art or develop another job or pretend to be someone I'm not or …

Where am I going?