Editorial Disclaimer: Be aware that this is commentary, not factual reporting. The names and incidents in the opinion piece are fictional.

If you've been paying attention, you just knew that once the movie aired, mouth breathing nimrods all over the world would begin trying to re-enact some of the sex scenes. I know the book has been out for a while but most of our population can't read thanks to our public school system, but put up pictures and they're on it like free cheese from the government.

A 'student leader' from the University of Illinois at Chicago has been charged with sexually assaulting a 19 year old female student. Mohammad Hossain, 19, has been in several university sponsored leadership programs, was a student ambassador and is on the triathlon team but is now facing criminal charges because he didn't go to the University of Virginia which has banned all sexual contact between male and female students.

It appears Hossain and the female student had been sexually intimate before and the pair were in his dorm room. He then began to re-enact a scene, with her permission, from the movie by binding her hands and feet to the bed, then stuffing a necktie into her mouth. He then removed her underwear, (stop touching yourself, this is informative journalism not a porn site), and began whipping her with a belt. The woman said it hurt and told him to stop; but that would have ruined the integrity of the tribute to the movie and he continued hitting her, including with his fists. She got her arms free but he held her down and had sex with her.

She was able to 'escape' after he had concluded his artistic interpretation of the popular movie because that's what kids do these days, act out what they see on the screen, especially at liberal schools. Don't they watch porn? There's supposed to be a safe word that when uttered stops all activity; so I guess without her saying the word he thought it was OK to continue.

Or given his name, maybe he's a Muslim terrorist and he's just exercising his rights as a man, since women can't say no for fear of being stoned or beheaded. Besides she came to his room and thus must have been asking for it. (we have to come up with a sarcasm font)

But you know what's going to happen, her lawyers will wait for Hossain to be convicted and then they'll file suit against the University and the movie producers because they have all the money. UIC officials, it will be claimed, don't have programs in place to teach kids right from wrong and when to say "no" or when "no" really means "NO!". Because it's not the parents' responsibility to teach kids morals or to teach them what's real and what's not. The producers probably should have had a disclaimer at the start and end of the movie, not to mention before each sex scene, reminding the slack jawed morons to not try this at home.

If I were Hossain's lawyers, I'd be asking to have this case removed to a Sharia court where they could blame the girl for tempting Hossain and being out of her room without the accompaniment of a male family member. Then her dad would have to pay Hossain a dozen goats for causing him trouble.

Additional disclaimer: Note that the opinions in all columns/commentaries do not necessarily align with those of the editor or publication.