We have not discussed any of the undeniable truths of life for a long time. A couple of those truths are closely related, as soon as your head hits the pillow you begin thinking of important things that you should have done that day or need to do tomorrow. Secondly, when you jump in the shower you start thinking of weird things; things that are true but just kind of odd and you would not normally think of them. Following are a few "shower thoughts" for you to ponder the next time you're lathering up. And no they are not designed to help you lather up in "that way".
Every day someone, somewhere in the world, takes the largest crap in the world that day.
People are more willing to go to the 10th page of PornHub, then they are to the second page of Google's search results.
Whether a pizza is round or square, everyone's first bite usually starts on the side opposite the crust. So essentially you are eating a pizza from the inside out.
Of all the bodily functions that could be contagious, I thank God that it's the yawn.
Trying to get rich by winning the lottery is like trying to commit suicide by flying commercial airlines.
I wonder what name my dog gave me.
The only reason most of us look at a bad driver when we pass them is to confirm a stereotype.
There is a time in every parents life when they go from hoping their kids are not having sex to hoping they are.
After clearing your browser history, there should be an option to populate it with "normal" websites rather than have it be empty.
If you are over 25 years old, you were born before every dog in the world was alive.
Did you ever notice that you rarely use all the ink in a pen before you lose it, but that almost every pen you find is out of ink?
Don't you wish you had the ability to dream with other people? Kind of like multiplayer online video games. Oh maybe not given some of the things that you people dream about.
Whenever we type "etc." It usually means we are out of real examples.
In the event of an apocalypse many of you would spend the first 20 minutes wondering why your phone was not working.
I wonder how many places I have already visited for the last time.
What if the planet Earth is actually the Noah's ark of the galaxy and that's why we can't find other life on other planets?
If you want to make your neighbors angry, buy a puppy and give it the same name as one of their kids.
I really thought quicksand was going to be a much bigger problem in life when I was growing up than it really is.
The first woman to have twins must have been really confused.
Wouldn't you rather spend 10 more minutes driving on an empty road than being stuck in traffic?
No one has ever been in an empty room.