By Charles Rein
Rein on All Fronts

 Unless you've been living under a rock for the last week, I'm sure you've heard about Will Smith's "SLAP" at the Academy Awards.

While some have concerns RE: it being staged, I myself wonder. "Hmmm, the comedian on the receiving end of Will Smith's slap- Chris Rock- his comedy ticket prices have interestingly increased seemingly overnight."

Yet as a columnist, I'd like to use THE SLAP as an analogy for Republican readers to consider.

The deeper philosophical question I'll ask, "DO REPUBLICAN AMERICANS need a good slap right now?"

Before you slap me, let me explain.

I'm thinking of the 1998 sitcom that ran for eight seasons, "That 70's Show". If you've not seen it, one character stands out. He's direct, brash, brutally honest, responsible, takes pride in his work. The character is mid aged, white father Red Forman and this tv dad's catch phrase, to his teenage son is often, "What you need is a good "kick in the ____!"

Similar to the tv father's well meaning "kick in the butt" a SLAP can be helpful in one "asspect". It can alert us to a rapidly worsing situation...and snap us back to reality.

I've listened to some conservative leaders on the radio recently, who have disappointed me. These radio hosts are usually inspiring, having Superman type attitudes where Democrat bullets just bounce of them. As of lately however these Republican heros have largely come crashing down. I now hear an attitude of either defeatism, "I'm ready to throw in the towel." (Superman without any powers) or "I'm sooo mad as heck and I'm not gonna take it anymore!"...where's my uzi?

I'd like my Republican friends to consider that they DO have strength. And it doesn't necessarily come from your NRA members card. (Even though having one doesn't hurt!) To Republicans I'm holding up my bullhorn and shouting. "You have strength in resources! You have strength in family and friends! You have strength in your optimistic way of thinking!"

But contrary to one way of thinking, one does not need to stand like a mightly oak in a hurricane storm. It is actually the lighter and more flexible trees that survive the hurricane. In a huge superstorm, with the thunder and lighting and gale-like winds, the mighty oak is usually snapped in two! Do you want this to happen to you? Republicans need to remain true to their ideals yet be flexible in their approach.

Getting back to my question-Do Republican Americans need a SLAP right now? I want to remind you there's a difference between a well meaning slap and a slap delivered out of anger. The benefits of a well meaning slap are the positive results, which it produces. It awakens us, gets us out of our funk and propels us forward. It allows us to look for alternative ways to connect -to register new voters for instance, to share with potential voters that the elephant party comes in all shapes and sizes. Not EVERY Republicans is a male who's white and wealthy! Consider connecting with others- especially those who you may have unintentionally ignored in the past. Stretch out to the "MIG's" -Minorities, Immigrants, millennial Generation. Heck, invite Jose or Muhammad to the neighborhood bar-b-que! Once they've arrived, any suggestions?

First remain calm. Listen. In the book, "How to have Impossible Conversation" by Peter Boghossian and James Lindsay, they recommend, "first figure out why someone believes" what they do. The best way to do this is simply to ask, "why do you believe that?" And then listen. Don't tell them why they are wrong or "parallel talk" and explain what you believe. I admit, I personally am trying to overcome talking when I should be listening.

Second while it's not always easy, call out extremists on your side. Identify the authoritarians and fundamentalists who claim to represent your views and speak bluntly about how they take things too far. This is a way to build trust and signal that you're not an extremist. (If you can't figure out how your side goes too far, that may just be a sign that you could be part of the problem and perhaps you may need to moderate your beliefs).

In our "highly polarized environment, talking to those who hold different beliefs isn't easy, but it's easier than you think. Fewer people talking across divides create a hunger for honest, sincere conversation" the authors state.

I'm hopeful as I've begun recently see things I never thought I'd see. I've seen a Republican booth at a multi cultural, Asian-American fair.

I've seen Republicans reaching out to moderate voters, effectively using calm words, learning to control tempers, both in person and on social media and mastering listening to others. With these improved people skills, I have hope the Republicans will realize we are not in a battle of "US versus them." We don't have to be that lone oak. Instead we can be that thin tree in the hurricane storm. We can survive and prosper by being flexible in our approach, seeking opportunities to share conservative values with a wide range of Americans, while still standing tall for our ideals.