By Abe Villarreal

I'm writing a collection of poems, not sure if I should call it a book yet, about living in the borderlands. It's the hardest thing I've ever done.

In doubting moments, I ask myself if I should keep writing these poems. "What do they mean?" is another question, and "Who wants to read them?" is a third question.

And there are other questions. Then there are moments when writing feels easy and the words go from mind to arm, from arm to hand, from hand to pen, and from pen to paper. Those are the best moments.

In everything that we do, simple or complex, there are questions on why we do it. Questions we ask ourselves and questions that others ask of us. For some reason, questioning our way of doing something is easier than jumping forward and doing that something.

Yet, I'm determined to keep writing. I don't know who the audience will be or what I'll find to say about this magical place I call home, but I know that writing is something that won't go away.

One of the poems is titled "Mi Mexico Lindo," which translates to "My Beautiful Mexico." It's written from the perspective of a young man named Vincente who is asking himself questions. As a teenager, he's in that in-between, where things aren't so black and white.

He sees the colors of life, and also the greys. His observations turn into thoughts. His thoughts turn into questions. As he writes, he begins to see something more meaningful, something deeper. He notices the differences in people, in cultures. He wonders what makes people happy and why that happiness is not enough depending on where you live.

Vincente's mind is growing, his eyes are opening. If he keeps asking questions, even if they are his own questions, in his own mind, he will begin to understand his community, and grow a deeper appreciation for who is and what he has in his life.

When Vincente is alone, he writes down his questions and his answers:
Is everyone happy here? It feels like it when I'm at home and we are having dinner. Smiles are on everyone's faces during get-togethers and fiestas.

When my tios are sitting on the front porch without a worry in the world, I see happiness. They talk about sports, mostly futbol, about business, and about beautiful women.

It seems like here it's easier for people to be happy than it is for people in America. Over there, people are worried. They have fears and anxieties.

Their bellies are full, and houses are big. Everyone has a new phone, and everything in the cars they drive works. Still, they are nervous people. They fear they don't have enough. Having everything is not enough.

Maybe they don't have everything.

I see smiles where I live. Doors are broken. To close them we use strings and wire hangers. There is no air conditioning, only stand up fans in some rooms. The windows are always open.

People aren't moving so much. They sit still. They take time do nothing. These are the things that make mi Mexico lindo.

Abe Villarreal writes about life and culture in America. He can be reached at abevillarreal@hotmail.com.

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