I usually worry about silly little things, such as will it really rain, should I take an umbrella? Does this pair of shoes look OK? I'm so "over" that!
But after listening to the latest news out of the state of New Mexico on the virus, which was predominantly GOOD news, they kept pushing the same old "guidelines"—wear your mask, stay 6 feet apart from any other individual, wash your hands frequently, don't join any large gatherings, my worries increased.
I'm tired of being isolated and staying home. Even when I take the dog for a walk, I so hope that I will see a neighbor to have a short chat, even if it's from 6 feet away.
I like larger gatherings, not huge ones, but maybe 25 -30 people. So many different people to chat with briefly or longer.
But we can't do that. We aren't "allowed" to do that.
Yes, I'm older, so I'm among the vulnerable, and I probably have "underlying conditions," although I always wonder exactly what that means. I have arthritis like many people my age. Is that underlying or just wear and tear?
Will I have to wear that dang hot mask forever every time I interact with anyone, even at Walmart—from 6 feet away?
What happens to handshakes and hugs from dear friends or even my kids or granddaughter if I ever get to see them again, because they live far away?
I don't mind staying home, because I have a loving husband, an old dog to take care of, and most of my work for the Beat is on a computer at home anyway.
Virtual meetings are starting to wear on me, I must admit. And it's not the technology—it's the distance. I can't ask a question of an individual after a meeting, unless I call them or email them. It was so easy to just walk up to the person and ask.
It's great that we DO have the technology to do what we can do. However, some days the computer drives me nuts and I just want to throw it out the window. But it cost too much, and I'm reliant on it for my self-imposed work. So, I don't.
I love my work, but part of what I love about my work has been interacting with people. I guess I sort of like people—most of them anyway.
I have never had trouble with depression—oh, the brief blues, sometimes—but not clinical depression. I bounce back well from the blues. Just like when I'm angry—it's always brief— and I'm quickly over it.
But I'm getting worn out by hearing good news on the state of the virus in New Mexico. And then hearing, BUT we must be careful about re-opening. We can't open up too fast. We have to get mask wearing up to 90 percent. We have to wait for "the" vaccine and good treatments.
Hey, lots of folks were cured of the Wuhan virus by taking hydroxychloroquine with zinc and azithromycin. Isn't that a treatment? It's what I'll ask for at my first symptom (which I hope I won't have, but…). Too many people are saying it won't work. If it works for some, it's a treatment!
I'm old, I'll probably try anything that might keep me going. If it doesn't, well, then it was my time to go. God will decide that.
So, I'm going to stop worrying and go eat lunch before getting back to work on my computer!
Mary Alice Murphy, editor