When I was young, one of the highlights of the holiday season was New Year's Eve. It was the one night we could stay up past our bedtime and not get in trouble. We would drink punch and eat chips, eagerly awaiting the stroke of midnight while Dick Clark's Rockin' New Year's Eve played on the television. But every year, as the minutes ticked closer to midnight, I found myself feeling more sad than excited, leaning more toward nostalgia than anticipation. Whether the year was one of joy or sorrow, I couldn't help but cling to it, to wish for a little more time before the old year died and the new year was born.
When the ball finally dropped, everyone would sing "Auld Lang Syne," the Scottish folk song made famous by Robert Burns in 1796. When I was a kid, I never thought too deeply about the song- it was a tradition, in the same way that Christmas trees and Halloween pumpkins and cheap plastic Easter grass were traditions. Now that I have a significant number of New Year's Eves under my belt, I'm a little more inquisitive. In "When Harry Met Sally" Billy Crystal's character Harry Burns asks Sally Albright, played by Meg Ryan:
Harry: [about Auld Lang Syne] What does this song mean? My whole life, I don't know what this song means. I mean, 'Should old acquaintance be forgot'? Does that mean that we should forget old acquaintances, or does it mean if we happened to forget them, we should remember them, which is not possible because we already forgot?
I decided to read the poem myself and see if I could answer Harry's question. Not for Harry, obviously, because that would involve trying to reach a fictional character through a screen, but for myself. What is that old song telling us to do, and why is it something we bring up as the old year gives way to the new?
What I discovered is that, taken as a whole, the song answers its own question in no uncertain terms. While the first stanza poses a question, the rest of the poem is the speaker recounting his memories of bygone days, wistfully celebrating the passage of time, grateful to have the memories, and even more grateful to be in the company of those he created those memories with.
As I get older, and I see more road behind me than I see ahead, I can't help but admire Burns and the old Scottish song he made famous. Should Old Acquaintance be forgot? The answer is no. Doing so would cut us off from vital parts of ourselves, and while it may relieve us of pain that has long subsided to a dull ache, that pain is as much a part of who we are as our joys and triumphs. All of those memories, both the good and the bad, make me who I am. Knowing where I come from helps point the way forward, leading me to whatever destiny awaits in the days and years ahead.
In this new year, take a cup of kindness and think of days gone by. Then close your eyes, take a breath, and look forward to the road ahead. You only get to travel it once.