This new column will involve Satire written by Richard McDonough, who also writes The Chronicles of Grant County.. The title means "satirical news" in Irish/Gaelic.

nuacht aoir is irish for satirical news 50

Porch Pirate Brigades How To Provide "Beautiful" Gifts For Thieves Part Two

Nuacht Aoir

Porch Pirate Brigades
How To Provide "Beautiful" Gifts For Thieves
Part Two

squirrel campbell flickr september 7 2015 35"Dorthea" may have been in the vanguard of the planning for the Porch Pirate Brigade. (The photograph was provided courtesy of Campbell through Flickr, September 7, 2015.)

As noted in a previous edition, Nuacht Aoir has learned – exclusively – that the "Gila Regional Porch Pirate Brigade" is in the process of being established. Its goal is to serve the residents of Catron, Grant, Hidalgo, and Luna Counties as they fight the scourge of thieves who steal packages from residences and motor vehicles in Southwest New Mexico.

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Porch Pirate Brigades Confessions Of A Porch Pirate Part One

Nuacht Aoir

Porch Pirate Brigades
Confessions Of A Porch Pirate
Part One

confessions of a porch pirate

Nuacht Aoir has learned – exclusively – that the "Gila Regional Porch Pirate Brigade" is in the process of being established. Its goal is to serve the residents of Catron, Grant, Hidalgo, and Luna Counties as they fight the scourge of thieves who steal packages from residences and motor vehicles in Southwest New Mexico.

In addition, Nuacht Aoir has also learned – exclusively, of course – that a (recently) reformed thief – George Jones – is offering advice to the founder of this new business.

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A Letter to Our Canis Lupus Baileyi Friends and Neighbors of SW NM - Head North!

Nuacht Aoir

A Letter To Our Canis Lupus Baileyi
Friends And Neighbors Of Southwest New Mexico
Head North!

Mexican wolf with yellow collar Mexican Wolf Interagency Field Team U S Fish and Wildlife Service January 27 2023A Mexican Wolf fitted with a yellow collar was released into the wilds of New Mexico in January of 2023. (The photo was provided courtesy of the Mexican Wolf Interagency Field Team of the United States Fish and Wildlife Service, January 27, 2023.)

We realize that the readership of Nuacht Aoir is typically of the human race, but we at Nuacht Aoir believe in full equality and equity for all residents of Southwest New Mexico.

Thus, today we address our Canis Lupus Baileyi neighbors – our Mexican wolf friends.

We at Nuacht Aoir recognize that the Mexican wolves are often misunderstood.

People typically only hear negative things about our friends and neighbors.

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New Programs "Deferred" Due To Opposition From Southwest New Mexicans

Nuacht Aoir

New Programs "Deferred" Due To Opposition From Southwest New Mexicans

President Joe Biden
Updates On Labor Day Initiatives
Part Three

president biden the white house 25President Joe Biden – smiling in better times – has decided not to proceed with implementation of his initiatives that were to be announced on Labor Day. (The photograph provided courtesy of The White House.)

President Joseph (Joe) Biden had planned to use Labor Day as the occasion to announce two initiatives to create jobs within the United States Postal Service (USPS). He has decided not to proceed with the announcements.

Only Nuacht Aoir – through dogged reporting – detailed the plans of the Administration prior to any public announcement by The White House.

The President was not pleased, according to two Presidential aides who used language – let us say "colorful" language – in telephone communications with Nuacht Aoir.

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"Parcel Post For The 21st Century" Program

Nuacht Aoir

"Parcel Post For The 21st Century" Program

President Joe Biden To Announce New Labor Day Initiatives
Part Two

possum adopted by president herbert hoover may 6 1929 library of congress 50President Herbert Hoover and Mrs. Hoover adopted "Billy Possum" (pictured above relaxing). An opossum (not this one) was among the first living creatures (including children) mailed and delivered by the United States Post Office. (This photograph provided courtesy of the Library of Congress, May 6, 1929.)

As we continue our exclusive reporting on the plans of the Administration of President Joseph (Joe) Biden, Nuacht Aoir has learned – exclusively – that the President intends to announce the "Parcel Post For The 21st Century" Program on Labor Day.

This will be a re-introduction of the "Parcel Post" service name through the United States Postal Service (USPS). The service name was removed in 2013 – during the Administration of President Barack Obama and Vice President Joe Biden.

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"We Read Your Mail For You" Program

Nuacht Aoir

"We Read Your Mail For You" Program

President Joe Biden To Announce New Labor Day Initiatives
Part Onewe read your mail for you program image 50

One of the Biden administration new initiatives for the US Postal Service

As we continue our exclusive reporting on the plans of the Administration of President Joseph (Joe) Biden, Nuacht Aoir has learned – exclusively – that the President will use Labor Day as the time he will announce two initiatives to create new jobs for Federal workers.

The first initiative will allow the United States Postal Service (USPS) to provide a service where postal workers will read your mail and then text the contents to you. To introduce the new service, the first 10 texts will be free. After that, each text will be billed at 50 cents each with each photo billed at $1.00 each.

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Easter Bunny Visiting Southwest New Mexico

Nuacht Aoir

Easter Bunny Visiting Southwest New Mexicoeaster bunny honey grove chamber of commerce 45The Easter Bunny is seen here in Honey Grove in the Red River Valley of Texas on his way to Southwest New Mexico. (The photograph was provided courtesy of the Honey Grove Chamber of Commerce.)

Nuacht Aoir has learned – exclusively – that the Easter Bunny is visiting Southwest New Mexico. While staying with friends in the Red River Valley of Texas, the Easter Bunny initially declined to confirm his annual visit to the Gila.

But through dogged investigation, Nuacht Aoir found a number of tell-tale signs that the Easter Bunny is here: A local lodging establishment with very special requests from a confidential guest. A bunny that hops faster than any other bunny seen by Nuacht Aoir. And twinkles in the eyes of children in Silver City and Lordsburg as they smile when asked if they have seen the Easter Bunny.

"We do have a special guest visiting Casitas de Gila this week," said Becky and Michael O'Connor, owners of Casitas de Gila; these guesthouses are located in Gila in northwest Grant County. "Because of customer confidentiality, of course, we cannot confirm the identity of our special guest."

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Wolverines Coming To Catron County

Nuacht Aoir

Grant And Hidalgo Counties Next On List

wolverine usfws mountain prairie december 10 2010 flickr national park service 25The Administration of President Joseph Biden has plans to "relocate" dozens of wolverines to Catron County in the coming weeks. (This photograph was provided courtesy of the Mountain-Prairie Region of the U S Fish & Wildlife Service through the National Park Service, December 10, 2010.)

Continuing our exclusive reporting on the plans of the Administration of President Joseph Biden, Nuacht Aoir has learned – exclusively – that wolverines are about to be "re-introduced" to the wilds of Catron County. After these new residents get acclimated to communities in that county, wolverines are then scheduled to be "re-introduced" to Grant and Hidalgo Counties.

According to a statement from the U S Fish & Wildlife Service, adult male North American wolverines each weigh 26 to 40 pounds, while adult female North American wolverines weigh 17 to 26 pounds each.

"It resembles a small bear with a bushy tail," noted this statement from the Federal agency. "It has a round, broad head; short, rounded ears; and small eyes. There are five toes on each foot, with curved and semiretractile claws used for digging and climbing..."

The Federal agency reported that wolverines are currently living in the wild in California, Colorado, Idaho, Montana, Nevada, Oregon, Utah, Washington, and Wyoming.

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