Nuacht Aoir
This new column will involve Satire written by Richard McDonough, who also writes The Chronicles of Grant County.. The title means "satirical news" in Irish/Gaelic.
Secret Plans To Elect Joey And Kam
- Category: Nuacht Aoir Nuacht Aoir
- Published: 01 April 2024 01 April 2024
Nuacht Aoir
Secret Plans To Elect Joey And Kam
Nuacht Aoir has learned – exclusively – that the Administration of President Joseph Biden and Vice President Kamala Harris has developed a sophisticated plan for reelection.
This secret plan – to be implemented today, April 1, 2024 – calls for nicknames to be used when referring to the President and Vice President; for certain words to be classified as "derogatory" and for people who use those words to be called out as "bigots who discriminate"; and for "elect" and "election" to be utilized in place of "re-elect" and "reelection."
Easter Bunny Visiting Southwest New Mexico 2024
- Category: Nuacht Aoir Nuacht Aoir
- Published: 27 March 2024 27 March 2024
Nuacht Aoir
Easter Bunny Visiting Southwest New Mexico
2024
Nuacht Aoir has learned – exclusively – that the Easter Bunny is now in Southwest New Mexico. The world-renowned philanthropic leader is visiting with friends in the area of the Burro Mountains as well as in the wilderness areas of the Gila National Forest.
In an off-the-paw interview earlier this week in the Gila, the Easter Bunny told Nuacht Aoir about plans for the Easter Sunday trip this coming weekend as well as plans for the Orthodox Easter Sunday trip on the first weekend in May.
Due to the sensitive nature of these plans, Nuacht Aoir agreed to refrain from reporting on the Easter Bunny's visit here until today.
Leprechaun International Convention Near Lordsburg 2024
- Category: Nuacht Aoir Nuacht Aoir
- Published: 17 March 2024 17 March 2024
Nuacht Aoir
Leprechaun International Convention
Near Lordsburg
2024
The leprechauns have again gathered for their international meeting in Southwest New Mexico.
Nuacht Aoir has learned – exclusively – that the Leprechaun International Convention is taking place today, Saint Patrick’s Day, near Lordsburg. This is the third year that the leprechauns have convened in the region. In 2022, the leprechauns met in Silver City, and in 2023, the convention took place in Catron County.
Donnchadha the Leprechaun, agreed to a short in-person interview early this morning at an undisclosed location near Lordsburg.
(Leprechauns only have one name; a few prominent leprechauns are allowed to add “the Leprechaun” to their name. Donnchadha is one of the more prominent Irish leprechauns.)
Porch Pirate Brigades How To Provide "Beautiful" Gifts For Thieves Part Two
- Category: Nuacht Aoir Nuacht Aoir
- Published: 13 December 2023 13 December 2023
Nuacht Aoir
Porch Pirate Brigades
How To Provide "Beautiful" Gifts For Thieves
Part Two
As noted in a previous edition, Nuacht Aoir has learned – exclusively – that the "Gila Regional Porch Pirate Brigade" is in the process of being established. Its goal is to serve the residents of Catron, Grant, Hidalgo, and Luna Counties as they fight the scourge of thieves who steal packages from residences and motor vehicles in Southwest New Mexico.
Porch Pirate Brigades Confessions Of A Porch Pirate Part One
- Category: Nuacht Aoir Nuacht Aoir
- Published: 06 December 2023 06 December 2023
Nuacht Aoir
Porch Pirate Brigades
Confessions Of A Porch Pirate
Part One
Nuacht Aoir has learned – exclusively – that the "Gila Regional Porch Pirate Brigade" is in the process of being established. Its goal is to serve the residents of Catron, Grant, Hidalgo, and Luna Counties as they fight the scourge of thieves who steal packages from residences and motor vehicles in Southwest New Mexico.
In addition, Nuacht Aoir has also learned – exclusively, of course – that a (recently) reformed thief – George Jones – is offering advice to the founder of this new business.
A Letter to Our Canis Lupus Baileyi Friends and Neighbors of SW NM - Head North!
- Category: Nuacht Aoir Nuacht Aoir
- Published: 11 September 2023 11 September 2023
Nuacht Aoir
A Letter To Our Canis Lupus Baileyi
Friends And Neighbors Of Southwest New Mexico
Head North!
We realize that the readership of Nuacht Aoir is typically of the human race, but we at Nuacht Aoir believe in full equality and equity for all residents of Southwest New Mexico.
Thus, today we address our Canis Lupus Baileyi neighbors – our Mexican wolf friends.
We at Nuacht Aoir recognize that the Mexican wolves are often misunderstood.
People typically only hear negative things about our friends and neighbors.
New Programs "Deferred" Due To Opposition From Southwest New Mexicans
- Category: Nuacht Aoir Nuacht Aoir
- Published: 06 September 2023 06 September 2023
Nuacht Aoir
New Programs "Deferred" Due To Opposition From Southwest New Mexicans
President Joe Biden
Updates On Labor Day Initiatives
Part Three
President Joseph (Joe) Biden had planned to use Labor Day as the occasion to announce two initiatives to create jobs within the United States Postal Service (USPS). He has decided not to proceed with the announcements.
Only Nuacht Aoir – through dogged reporting – detailed the plans of the Administration prior to any public announcement by The White House.
The President was not pleased, according to two Presidential aides who used language – let us say "colorful" language – in telephone communications with Nuacht Aoir.
"Parcel Post For The 21st Century" Program
- Category: Nuacht Aoir Nuacht Aoir
- Published: 04 September 2023 04 September 2023
Nuacht Aoir
"Parcel Post For The 21st Century" Program
President Joe Biden To Announce New Labor Day Initiatives
Part Two
As we continue our exclusive reporting on the plans of the Administration of President Joseph (Joe) Biden, Nuacht Aoir has learned – exclusively – that the President intends to announce the "Parcel Post For The 21st Century" Program on Labor Day.
This will be a re-introduction of the "Parcel Post" service name through the United States Postal Service (USPS). The service name was removed in 2013 – during the Administration of President Barack Obama and Vice President Joe Biden.