Nuacht Aoir
This new column will involve Satire written by Richard McDonough, who also writes The Chronicles of Grant County.. The title means "satirical news" in Irish/Gaelic.
Leprechaun International Convention Near Lordsburg 2024
- Category: Nuacht Aoir Nuacht Aoir
- Published: 17 March 2024 17 March 2024
Nuacht Aoir
Leprechaun International Convention
Near Lordsburg
2024
The leprechauns have again gathered for their international meeting in Southwest New Mexico.
Nuacht Aoir has learned – exclusively – that the Leprechaun International Convention is taking place today, Saint Patrick’s Day, near Lordsburg. This is the third year that the leprechauns have convened in the region. In 2022, the leprechauns met in Silver City, and in 2023, the convention took place in Catron County.
Donnchadha the Leprechaun, agreed to a short in-person interview early this morning at an undisclosed location near Lordsburg.
(Leprechauns only have one name; a few prominent leprechauns are allowed to add “the Leprechaun” to their name. Donnchadha is one of the more prominent Irish leprechauns.)
Porch Pirate Brigades How To Provide "Beautiful" Gifts For Thieves Part Two
- Category: Nuacht Aoir Nuacht Aoir
- Published: 13 December 2023 13 December 2023
Nuacht Aoir
Porch Pirate Brigades
How To Provide "Beautiful" Gifts For Thieves
Part Two
As noted in a previous edition, Nuacht Aoir has learned – exclusively – that the "Gila Regional Porch Pirate Brigade" is in the process of being established. Its goal is to serve the residents of Catron, Grant, Hidalgo, and Luna Counties as they fight the scourge of thieves who steal packages from residences and motor vehicles in Southwest New Mexico.
Porch Pirate Brigades Confessions Of A Porch Pirate Part One
- Category: Nuacht Aoir Nuacht Aoir
- Published: 06 December 2023 06 December 2023
Nuacht Aoir
Porch Pirate Brigades
Confessions Of A Porch Pirate
Part One
Nuacht Aoir has learned – exclusively – that the "Gila Regional Porch Pirate Brigade" is in the process of being established. Its goal is to serve the residents of Catron, Grant, Hidalgo, and Luna Counties as they fight the scourge of thieves who steal packages from residences and motor vehicles in Southwest New Mexico.
In addition, Nuacht Aoir has also learned – exclusively, of course – that a (recently) reformed thief – George Jones – is offering advice to the founder of this new business.
A Letter to Our Canis Lupus Baileyi Friends and Neighbors of SW NM - Head North!
- Category: Nuacht Aoir Nuacht Aoir
- Published: 11 September 2023 11 September 2023
Nuacht Aoir
A Letter To Our Canis Lupus Baileyi
Friends And Neighbors Of Southwest New Mexico
Head North!
We realize that the readership of Nuacht Aoir is typically of the human race, but we at Nuacht Aoir believe in full equality and equity for all residents of Southwest New Mexico.
Thus, today we address our Canis Lupus Baileyi neighbors – our Mexican wolf friends.
We at Nuacht Aoir recognize that the Mexican wolves are often misunderstood.
People typically only hear negative things about our friends and neighbors.
New Programs "Deferred" Due To Opposition From Southwest New Mexicans
- Category: Nuacht Aoir Nuacht Aoir
- Published: 06 September 2023 06 September 2023
Nuacht Aoir
New Programs "Deferred" Due To Opposition From Southwest New Mexicans
President Joe Biden
Updates On Labor Day Initiatives
Part Three
President Joseph (Joe) Biden had planned to use Labor Day as the occasion to announce two initiatives to create jobs within the United States Postal Service (USPS). He has decided not to proceed with the announcements.
Only Nuacht Aoir – through dogged reporting – detailed the plans of the Administration prior to any public announcement by The White House.
The President was not pleased, according to two Presidential aides who used language – let us say "colorful" language – in telephone communications with Nuacht Aoir.
"Parcel Post For The 21st Century" Program
- Category: Nuacht Aoir Nuacht Aoir
- Published: 04 September 2023 04 September 2023
Nuacht Aoir
"Parcel Post For The 21st Century" Program
President Joe Biden To Announce New Labor Day Initiatives
Part Two
As we continue our exclusive reporting on the plans of the Administration of President Joseph (Joe) Biden, Nuacht Aoir has learned – exclusively – that the President intends to announce the "Parcel Post For The 21st Century" Program on Labor Day.
This will be a re-introduction of the "Parcel Post" service name through the United States Postal Service (USPS). The service name was removed in 2013 – during the Administration of President Barack Obama and Vice President Joe Biden.
"We Read Your Mail For You" Program
- Category: Nuacht Aoir Nuacht Aoir
- Published: 03 September 2023 03 September 2023
Nuacht Aoir
"We Read Your Mail For You" Program
President Joe Biden To Announce New Labor Day Initiatives
Part One
As we continue our exclusive reporting on the plans of the Administration of President Joseph (Joe) Biden, Nuacht Aoir has learned – exclusively – that the President will use Labor Day as the time he will announce two initiatives to create new jobs for Federal workers.
The first initiative will allow the United States Postal Service (USPS) to provide a service where postal workers will read your mail and then text the contents to you. To introduce the new service, the first 10 texts will be free. After that, each text will be billed at 50 cents each with each photo billed at $1.00 each.
Easter Bunny Visiting Southwest New Mexico
- Category: Nuacht Aoir Nuacht Aoir
- Published: 05 April 2023 05 April 2023
Nuacht Aoir
Easter Bunny Visiting Southwest New Mexico
Nuacht Aoir has learned – exclusively – that the Easter Bunny is visiting Southwest New Mexico. While staying with friends in the Red River Valley of Texas, the Easter Bunny initially declined to confirm his annual visit to the Gila.
But through dogged investigation, Nuacht Aoir found a number of tell-tale signs that the Easter Bunny is here: A local lodging establishment with very special requests from a confidential guest. A bunny that hops faster than any other bunny seen by Nuacht Aoir. And twinkles in the eyes of children in Silver City and Lordsburg as they smile when asked if they have seen the Easter Bunny.
"We do have a special guest visiting Casitas de Gila this week," said Becky and Michael O'Connor, owners of Casitas de Gila; these guesthouses are located in Gila in northwest Grant County. "Because of customer confidentiality, of course, we cannot confirm the identity of our special guest."