Peirspictiochtai Ar An Saol
Setting An Example
You may have heard of the saying "Do as I say, not as I do."
While its original source is not certain, similar sentiments were the focus of Matthew 23:3 in the Bible. There are different Bible translations and editions, so the specific wording varies.
In the Bible edition recognized by the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops, the wording is:
"Therefore, do and observe all things whatsoever they tell you, but do not follow their example. For they preach but they do not practice."
In the King James Version of the Bible, the wording is:
"All therefore whatsoever they bid you observe, that observe and do; but do not ye after their works: for they say, and do not."
While the words vary, the meanings are quite similar.
They focus on hypocrisy.
As an example, consider an individual who states a standard that should be followed, but where that same individual does not follow the standard they prescribe for others.
Setting an example means that an individual must not advocate hypocrisy.
Setting an example can be both easy and simple as well as tough and complicated.
It can be easy and simple when the individual is comfortable with themselves, the decisions they've made, and the life they lead.
It can be tough and complicated when the individual does not respect themselves, the decisions they've made, and the life they lead.
Let's take some real-world examples.
A parent with a teenage child finds out that the teenager is using illicit drugs.
That same parent did the same thing as a teenager.
That same parent was fortunate that they did not suffer much from their illicit drug use. In fact, that same parent enjoyed using illicit drugs and did not have any negative consequences from their use of illicit drugs. That same parent stopped using illicit drugs once they graduated from school and secured a full-time job.
However, that same parent did witness the impacts of illicit drug use on their peers. Some got sick from illicit drugs, but survived and are living a good life. Some died from overdosing on illicit drugs. Some got in trouble with the law because of their use of illicit drugs, with some even spending time in jail.
The parent does not want their teenage child to experience any of the negative consequences that might occur with illicit drug use.
How does a parent in this situation set an example for their teenage child?
Does the parent detail their experiences as well as what they saw happen among their peers? Does the parent ignore what they've found out about their child and do nothing? Does the parent not mention their personal experiences, but instead focus on scientific and medical reports about illicit drug use? Does the parent attempt to scare the teenage child by having someone in law enforcement stop by with draconian warnings? Does the parent deny any past illicit drug use?
Take the same situation, but in this scenario, that same parent never stopped using illicit drugs. In fact, the teenage child got their first illicit drugs from their parent's stash.
How does a parent in this situation set an example for their teenage child when they themselves are using illicit drugs?
Setting an example is important within a family. Two newspapers in Mississippi and Kansas noted types of hypocrisy in parenting children.
In a letter to the editor dated July 28, 1847, from "A Constant Reader" that was printed in the Weekly Sentinel edition of The Vicksburg Sentinel in Mississippi on August 11, 1847, that reader wrote:
"It is the duty of a parent to instruct his children when they are young, in what is right. Instead of bribing them to do right, they ought to teach them to act so from principle; and above all things, the parent ought to set them a good example. If a father does wrong, he cannot expect that his child will do right."
"'Do as I say, but not as I do,' is an improper maxim in governing children; and assuredly, if a child is punished for doing something wrong, and sees his parent do the very same thing, the idea of the Devil rebuking sin cannot but arise in his mind; and from that moment, the moral influence of that parent is at an end, and he will have to resort to threats to manage his child."
The following text was included in the edition dated January 26, 1918, of The Catholic Advance of Wichita, Kansas:
"How can parents exhort their children to practice virtue and to avoid vice when their own example belies their counsel. In edifying, in building up the Christian character of their children, parents should never lose sight of this truth – namely, that good teaching and advice will seldom keep children in the right path unless accompanied by good example. It is all very well to tell children: 'You must do as I say; never mind what I do.' But…[is it] likely that a child's mind will grasp the need of being good when its own parents – whom it looks up to in all things – lead bad or indifferent lives."
Setting an example is an important way of living your life overall. Two newspapers in the early 1900s included text that highlighted this way of life.
An advertisement from a funeral director in the edition dated February 25, 1918, of The Spokesman-Review in Spokane, Washington, included the following wording:
"I do what I say, and say what I do."
On August 11, 1914, the Times Leader of Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania, included the following wording in one of the newspaper's editorials:
"'Practice what you preach' is better than 'Do what I say, not what I do.'"
The next set of news columns in this series will focus on aspects of journalism, including how The Grandmother Rule, the Ethics of Lying, Setting an Example, and other philosophies that could and should be employed in journalism.
Peirspictiochtai Ar An Saol – Gaelic – Irish – for "Perspectives On Life" is a column focused on aspects of accountability and responsibility as well as ways people look at life.
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